If you are in a dating relationship that feels threatening, uncomfortable, tense, or even frightening, trust your feelings. Reach out to a trusted adult or call the 24-hour, toll-free, all-language New York City Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-621-HOPE (4673) or the multi-lingual Youthline at 800-246-4646 to speak to a trained advocate. Victims of abuse who have been sexually assaulted should also call the Rape/Sexual Assault/Incest Hotline to speak with a trained advocate at 212-227-3000.

Understanding domestic violence for teenagers
The signs and symptoms of abuse within teenage relationships are similar to those of other forms of domestic violence. They may include physical violence, sexual assault, and emotional and/or psychological abuse. Many acts of abuse begin in early dating relationships. Date and acquaintance rape may happen at the beginning of a dating relationship before there has been any physical intimacy.

Teenage victims of domestic violence face unique challenges:
Teenagers experience specific developmental milestones as they journey through adolescence. Relationship abuse can have a serious negative impact on a teen's emotional development.

To exert power and control, the abuser may:

• Manipulate or make threats to have sex or rape the victim.
• Threaten to expose the victim's sexual activity to others students.
• Humiliate the victim in front of peers at school or after school.
• Destroy the victim’s homework.
• Limit or control who the victim sees.
• Decide what school activities the victim may participate in.

What is New York City doing to address teen relationship abuse?

New York City Healthy Relationship Training Academy
The Mayor's Office to Combat Domestic Violence (OCDV) and the Department of Youth and Community Development (DYCD) have teamed up to educate young people on dating violence in New York City. The project established the NYC Healthy Relationship Training Academy, to teach young people and service providers about the dynamics of abusive relationships and the characteristics of healthy relationships.
For the Program Flyer Click Here
For the 2007 Teen Dating Violence Fact Sheet Click Here
For the 23 Warning Signs of an Abusive Partner Click Here
For a Workshop Request Form Click Here
For a Staff Training Request Form Click Here

Youth Education Campaign
In the Fall of 2004, New York City began a public education campaign which encourages adolescents involved in dating violence relationships to call the City's hotlines and service providers. New outreach materials were developed and distributed to 400 public middle and high schools, City hospitals, and after-school programs.

To date, the Department of Youth and Community Development and the Department of Education have distributed over 200,000 brochures, palm-sized information cards, and posters in multiple languages to adolescents throughout the New York City school system.

Please visit the Publications section of the Web site to download sample Teen Outreach materials.

Violence Prevention and Intervention Services
In 2004, The Department of Youth and Community Development allocated over $4 million dollars to contracts for violence prevention and intervention services, including six programs that involve the whole family in violence prevention.

Relationship Abuse Prevention Program
In November 1999, New York City launched the Adopt-A-School Relationship Abuse Prevention Program (RAPP). The Human Resources Administration contracts with local domestic violence organizations to provide prevention, intervention, professional development, community outreach, and parent education in 20 public high schools.

Educators promote healthy relationships; intervene in the cycle of teen relationship abuse; and work to prevent destructive patterns of relationship abuse from extending into adult relationships. The RAPP program allows for the full integration of services throughout the school community, ensuring a zero-tolerance approach to abuse in all forms.

Where is the RAPP program located?

Bronx
Herbert H. Lehman High School
Theodore Roosevelt High School
South Bronx High School
Adlai E. Stevenson High School
Harry S Truman High School

Brooklyn
Bushwick High School
Thomas Jefferson High School
New Utrecht High School
Franklin D. Roosevelt High School
George W. Wingate High School

Manhattan
Louis D. Brandeis High School
Manhattan Center for Science and Mathematics High School
Martin Luther King Jr. High School
Park West High School
Seward Park High School

Queens
Beach Channel High School
Far Rockaway High School
Franklin K. Lane High School
Springfield Gardens High School

Staten Island
Susan E. Wagner High School

How can I tell if my friend is in an abusive relationship?
If your friend is in an abusive relationship, your friend might:

• Wear clothing to cover bruises – long sleeves or turtlenecks on warm days;
• Spend excessive time answering cell phone calls or pages from the partner;
• Lose confidence in themselves and begin to have difficulty making decisions;
• Stop spending time with close friends and family;
• Begin to receive failing grades or stop participating in school activities;
• Start using alcohol or drugs.

What should I do if someone I know is being abused?
Call the 24-hour, toll-free, all-language New York City Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-621-HOPE (4673) or Youthline at 800-246-4646 to talk to a trained advocate. Turn to another trusted individual such as a teacher, coach, aunt or uncle or school social worker. In case of emergency, call the police at 911. Victims of sexual assault should call the Rape and Sexual Assault Hotline at 212-227-3000 to speak with a specially trained counselor.

Can’t jealousy and possessiveness be a sign of love?
Jealousy and possessiveness are early warning signs of abuse. They often mean that the person sees their intimate partner as a possession, not as an equal. In a healthy, loving relationship, people trust and support one another and respect each other’s independence.

Will my partner stop being abusive once we get married or have a baby?
Marriage does not end the battering found in dating relationships. In fact, the abuser's possessiveness, suspiciousness and violence tend to increase after the couple is married. Likewise, having a baby together will not stop the abuse. Many pregnant women have reported that the abuse became more severe after they became pregnant.

As a teen in a dating relationship, can I get an Order of Protection?
Individuals who are abused by a person they are dating and with whom they do not have a child in common are not eligible for a Family Court Order of Protection. However, the victim may seek an Order of Protection in Criminal Court if the abuser has been arrested. Victims of physical and sexual abuse should call 911 or visit the nearest police precinct to file a complaint.

As a teen in a dating relationship, am I eligible for shelter?
Youth 18 and over may be eligible for Domestic Violence Emergency Shelter, which can be accessed through the New York City Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-621-HOPE (4673). Teens under 18 that are in need of a place to stay may go to Covenant House, a homeless shelter for teens. Covenant House is not confidentially located.
Visit the Covenant House Web site for more information

Other Resources
Human Resources Administration, Office of Domestic Violence
New York City Department of Youth and Community Development
Love is Not Abuse
The City of New York Resource Directory of Domestic Violence Services (in PDF)