Protecting Yourself Against HIV/AIDS

HIV is still around. STDs such as chlamydia can cause serious problems, including infertility, if left untreated. And syphilis and other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are on the rise again among men in New York and other cities –- especially among men who have sex with men.

We know that condoms can help prevent HIV and other STDs, as well as unwanted pregnancy. So why doesn't everybody always use them?

Sound Familiar?

"He doesn't look sick."
"He didn't ask me to wear one."
"I was too high to ask."
"He said he'd pull out."
"As long as I'm the top, I'm safe."
"People don't really get sick anymore."
"I'm the only guy he does this with."
"It’ll ruin the mood. I want to feel you."
"You won’t get pregnant—you’re on the pill."
"I can’t stay hard if I’m wearing one."
"I’ll pull out before I come."
"I’m clean, I promise."
"You’re the only girl I’m with."
"Sleep with another man? Never! I’m not gay!"

You Can't Tell Who's Positive

You can't tell who has HIV –- or any other STD –- by the way he looks. You can't tell by whether he asks you to wear a condom. You can't tell by where he lives, or who he has sex with. He may not even know, himself. (As many as 1 in 4 New Yorkers living with HIV don't know they're infected.)

B.Y.O.C. (Bring Your Own Condom!)

Talk to your partner about safer sex. That isn't always easy, especially the first time. But he needs to understand that sex just isn’t happening unless it's safe. He'll get used to the way a condom feels, and the sex will be better if you don't have to worry about getting HIV or getting pregnant.

And while new medications are helping people feel better and live longer with HIV, the drugs are expensive, have side effects, and don't work for everyone. So, using a condom to prevent HIV is still as important as ever.

Be prepared. Make sure you have condoms in your pockets, in your car, and in different places in your house, so they're always in reach. Know how to use a condom, and get comfortable with it, so putting it on won't seem like an interruption.

Here are some tips

Male condoms:

• Use a new condom for each sexual act.
• Use latex condoms. Condoms made of "natural" materials like lambskin don't protect against HIV and other STDs. (If you are allergic to latex, use condoms made of polyurethane or other synthetic materials.)
• Handle the condom carefully so it doesn't get damaged.
• Put the condom on after the penis is erect, before any sexual contact occurs.
• Use only water-based lubricants, such as K-Y or Astroglide, with latex condoms. Oil-based lubricants like Vaseline, baby oil, cooking oil, and lotion can weaken latex.
• Don't use lubricants that contain the spermicide nonoxynol 9 (N-9). We used to think that N-9 protected against HIV. But studies have found that frequent use of N-9 may actually make it easier to become infected with HIV and other STDs.
• After sex, hold the base of the condom to make sure it doesn't spill.

Female condoms:

• The female condom is a soft, loose-fitting, polyurethane pouch that protects against HIV and other STDs, as well as pregnancy.
• Since the female condom is placed in the vagina (not on the penis), some women feel it gives them more control.
• Like a male condom, each female condom should be used only once, then thrown away.

If you want to stop using condoms because you're in a mutually monogamous relationship, both you and your partner should be tested for HIV and other STDs, first.

Protect Yourself and Others

Not having sex and not shooting drugs are the only ways to be 100% certain you won't get infected with HIV.

If you're sexually active, you can reduce your risk of getting or spreading HIV and other STDs by having sex only in a mutually monogamous relationship with a partner you are sure is not infected. If you are having sex outside of such a relationship, you can reduce your risk by:

• Always using a latex condom whenever you have sex.
• Using condoms when you or your partner are pregnant. STDs such as syphilis can be devastating for a baby. A condom can protect both you and the baby against HIV and other STDs.
• Never having anal sex without a condom.

Some activities are riskier than others

Unprotected anal sex is the greatest sexual risk for spreading HIV. Receptive anal intercourse is 5 times riskier than receptive vaginal intercourse and 50 times riskier than receptive oral sex. Insertive anal or vaginal intercourse is 10 times riskier than insertive oral sex. Oral sex is less risky than other penetrative sexual activities, but is not without risk for both partners.

Condoms greatly reduce the risk of spread of HIV for both partners in anal, vaginal, and oral sex.

• Limiting the number of people you have sex with. The more partners you have, the higher your risk. Having sex with people you don't know also increases your risk.
• Avoiding alcohol or drugs when you have sex. Being high makes it much harder to have safer sex. For free, confidential help with a substance abuse problem, call 1-800-LIFENET (1-800-543-3638).
• Getting vaccinated against hepatitis A and B.
• Getting tested for STDs. Having an STD can make it easier to become infected with HIV or to spread HIV to others. STDs often have no symptoms, so you may not know you're infected unless you're tested.

If you think you have an STD or think you've been exposed, don't have sex until you and everyone you've had sex with are tested and completely treated (finished all your medication). Otherwise, you could infect each other again.

If you inject drugs, never share needles. Use a new, sterile needle and "works" every time. For information and help, call 311.

HIV Status? Do Ask, Do Tell

If you've ever been sexually active, or ever injected drugs, you should be tested for HIV. By knowing your HIV status, you can protect yourself and anyone you are having sex with.

If you have HIV, it’s important to know. Early medical treatment can help you feel better and live longer. If you or your partner are pregnant or planning pregnancy, knowing your HIV status can save the baby's life. Without medication, a mother can pass HIV to her baby. But if you have HIV and are treated with medication, you can improve your own health and greatly reduce the chance that the baby will get infected.

If you're HIV-positive:

• Talk to the people you've had sex with, so they can get counseling and testing, too. If you need help notifying your partners, talk to your doctor or call 311.
• Tell anyone you are thinking of having sex with that you're HIV-positive (before you have sex–even if they don't ask!).
• Use a latex condom every time you have sex. Even if you're on anti-HIV medications and even if your viral load is not detectable, you can still transmit HIV. Using a condom every time protects your partner. A condom also protects you from becoming infected with other STDs or different strains of HIV that may be more virulent or resistant to drug treatment.

You Have a Right to Say "No"

You have a right to say "no" to unwanted sex, and that includes unsafe sex. If someone is forcing you to have sex, with or without a condom, call 1-800-621-HOPE (1-800-621-4673) for help.

For more information about HIV and other STDs, including where to get free, confidential or anonymous counseling and testing, call 311.